"Some soul-searching or a fresh start is needed. The answers you currently seek probably lie within but bringing thoughts to mind requires quiet reflection and letting go of the past. Embrace change today."

Hah, yeah back reading the crazy horoscopes on the Herald website. I had a fall on my scooter on Monday so have spent the last couple of days in bed recovering. Basically just bruised and sore, thankfully nothing is broken. I was meant to start the new job today, I'm hoping my body is less sore tomorrow and I can go to work. Stretching seems to hurt a lot.

I'm sitting in the RDU studio doing Sheep Tech on my own. I should probably do a voice break soon, then go pee.

Nice huh?

I feel like I always come to RDU very unprepared. Today I brought a mix CD which I made for Genie as my play list. I think that counts as being prepared and lazy. I guess when I am on my own I feel less like I really should prep myself and think about what I am talking about.

If there is any good Kiwi music out there that you think I don't know about and I should be playing on The Sheep Tech, comment on this. Heh, I bet I don't get a comment.

I'm about to go off to Ladi 6 with Jasper... who has been my partner in crime this weekend. Well not really, but we hung out a bit, well more than anyone else.

I did not:
Tidy my room
Do the research
Knit
work on the light box

I did:
Go to the dux and saw tourettes
Get disappointed by the range at Global Fabrics.
See BBE at Rockquest (lolz)
Make 2 Mix CDs but not all the ones I had intended
Paint
Watch DVD's
Make lunch for 4 days
See Pine at Goodbye Blue Monday
Hang out with Louise and Eamonn

It feels like I didn't do much, but when I list it, it doesn't seem too bad.

Unusually I have no plans for this weekend. I want to visit Global Fabrics, thats it. I might get Caroline to take me to the Uni Libraries if they're open. Thats about it.
So this weekend I vow to attempt the following:

-Tidy my room to at least a point where I'm not disgusted by it
-Fill a box with craft things I don't actually need
-Make a couple of mix cds
-Make myself a week of lunches and freeze them
-finish my pile of CDs i'm getting rid of
-Paint
-Knit
-Begin work on the light box I am trying to build

Another frustrating day I see is unfolding in front of me. I'm going to try and be more positive about it than yesterday. That was a nightmare. I ended up staying with Sarah and watching a movie. Two people in a similar state probably aren't that helpful. I felt like everything I said to comfort her was stupid because at the same time I couldn't get things straight in my head. I am quite aware of how I've become quite irrational in the last week or so.

It's a Motherfucker
Being here without you
thinking 'bout the good times
thinkin 'bout the bad
And I won't ever be the same

It's a Motherfucker
Getting through a Sunday
Talking to the walls just me again

But I won't ever be the same
I won't ever be the same

It's a Motherfucker
How much I understand
The feeling that you need someone
To take you by the hand

And you won't ever be the same
You won't ever be the same

I've been really restless lately. I feel like I'm on the verge of something but no idea what it is. I want to do things, see people and go places but I don't know who, where and why.
Its probably a good thing I don't still have a car. I'd be gone by now. I'd have picked a direction and just gone.

I've been making a pile of mix cds lately. I owe them to at least Mandi, Genie and Lisa. I've been really slack in doing them though.

I made an NZ music mix cd and have been listening to it for 3 days in a row now, trying to decide if these are the songs I really want to put out there for all to hear to reflect songs I like locally.

The key thing is actually less about the songs themselves but the production values of one song to the next. Some sound more... polished than others. Side by side, it makes otherwise awesome songs sound a little flat.

this morning my ipod is trying to tell me I should listen to Tom Waits.
Its not really Monday morning music.
I am exhausted and I had plenty of sleep. I struggled with this morning much more than other Monday mornings. At least I was only 5 minutes late for work. I am proud at least that I managed to consume some breakfast.