bad mood river

hey now little speedyhead…

I have so much work to do, but i cannot focus, i don’t really know why,

before i was fine, now, i am just a useless piece of shit<

..only just light years to go…..

lacking any concentration on my work…. its really bad,

but i am sure I will figure out what it is i am waiting on..

…this life that pass before my eyes…Nothing is going my way…

argh… i guess my mood isn’t helping, sometimes i wonder why i am even awake, why not just go to bed, and sleep till the next day, when maybe, something might happen.

…The ocean is the river’s goal…

its like my life only occurs in daylight hours, there is nothing keeping me up,

a tutor i had once told me the best work happens, at the point in the night, when

you’re that one bit too tired, and the one moment not paying the closest attention to

detail, you stumble upon the answers

..I have got to find the river….

maybe he was right, maybe he is right, but i guess i still need the motivation, without that i am nothing to my work.

…There’s no one left to take the lead….

I haven’t been able to find that frame of mind for quite a few days now…its a little worrying, i am not sure exactly how i plan to get there.

..none of this is going my way….

I remember last year, taking a bottle of martini with me and locking myself

in my room and writing my history essay, i guess that was because i needed to relax

and not get stressed over it, but i get the feeling thats not the ideal way to do it this time

round…

… There is nothing left to throw,of Ginger, lemon, indigo,

coriander stem and rose….

Maybe i need that holiday again, the one that napier so easily gave me, but well its a finacial

burden to do, and well I can’t see how one month of university studies has put me in such a state

that i need this so badly… i might just wait out the weekend

….The river empties to the tide….

at least i have that to look forward to, Cassette at bodega, lucid 3 at indigo, my brother,

my flatwarming, my god, brandon boyd… hehehhe… its time i got slightly light-hearted about

something at least.maybe i will have the restlessness out of my system,a nd will be able to put

my head down and get on with this godforsaken business, but the only pressure from that is this damn

pin up on monday, and needing to have my work for slides finished so they can be sent to the

developer this weekend

one can hope for a better mood.

…..All of this is coming your way….

song of the day:

Fairly obviously, Find The River- REM

Person of the day: Adam for providing the stalking joy and understanding that only a flatmate could

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