okay this is just an entry relating to a email i got forwarded to me… if you never went to high school in Christchurch, don’t bother reading any further, its just not funny unless you know…
HOW MANY CHRISTCHURCH SCHOOL STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
Rangi Ruru- One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Hornby High- Two. One to change the bulb and one to figure out how to get high off the old one.
St Bedes – None. They’re all too drunk to notice and even when they’re sober if they spot a hole they just put there willy in it.
Girls High – One. She’ll put through a call to maintenance staff because there’s no way she’s going to do manual labour.
Hillmorton – None. That hole looks better in the dark.
Riccarton – Six. One to change it but only after the other five have found an interpreter to translate the English instructions.
Burnside High – Seventy six. One to change the globe. Fifty to protest the globe’s right not to change and twenty five to stage a counter protest.
St Andrews- None. Those poor bastards are keeping their backs to the wall even if it means standing in the dark. “If you can’t get a girl, get a Christ boy”.
Avonside – Five. One to change it, two to make sure her hair ribbons are still in place and another two to make sure her bag looks cool at all times.
Linwood High -Six. Four to break into the store, one to steal the globe and one to install it.
Villa Maria – None. It is too unsafe for pregnant girls to attempt such a dangerous task.
Papanui High – 10. One to change the bulb. One to call their dealer and eight to have a session why they wait.
Aranui High – None. Everything not welded down had been flogged long ago.
Hagley – None. Everyone is either suspended or bunking (including the teachers).
Boys High – Two, one to change the bulb and one to make the observation that it isn’t half as bright as the light shining from their arses.
Marian – None. They only have to give head to the Shirley boys and its done for them.
Rangiora High – None. Electricity has yet to make it out that far.
St Thomas’s- Four. One to change the bulb, three to count how many times he mentions rugby and fucking someones mother.
After a most excellent start to the semester Fran gets very sick… not sure where to lay blame for this ill feeling, but methinks that going to both nights of of a certain band cannot have helped…actually neither could going to Matterhorn with Grant, Simon, James, and Nick, or going out with Francine and Abby….hmmmm well I am sure its not that bad, and yes it was a busy week… my 104 assignment is unfortunately falling behind as a result, which pisses me off somewhat cause it was looking so promising before I ended up in bed
I have been working hard out at uni… barely getting enough sleep, and thus, i guess this could be another thing to blame my sickness on, like i have stayed in my bed for 6 days without getting up at all…. its awful, and therefore I ended up with a huge back log of assignments to complete…. which was insane.. now i have ended up with only one weeks holidays cause i am spending the first week of my holidays in at uni completing these assignments…..
well other than the sick and lack of sleep i haven’t been up to too much….
sitting in bed does that to you…. although now i can claim to be an expert in Oprah’s sense of dress (incidentally.. she has been wearing a lot of pastel suits lately … and they aren’t flattering…)
…. yes… that and my ability to watch an amazing amount of Melrose place and infomercials…. oh dear I have become very sad…