I figure that my writing increases as my general dissatisfaction with life/people/work/whatever increases.
This morning I sat in those seats that face everyone else sitting on the bus. There are three stunningly beautiful girls who ride my bus every morning. The Japanese girl had a haircut this week. She looked quite different, but still really pretty.
These girls always make me feel kind of crap. I know I always look terrible, I don’t brush my hair because I rush and forget, I don’t really wear makeup, and if I do its usually smudged from sleep and the night before. When I don’t wear the frumpy “uniform” I have been given for work, I am barely able to dress myself appropriately for the office. At the same time though, they always make me smile with their impeccable unwrinkled clothes and effortless style. They aren’t over dressed or overly made up. They’re just naturally beautiful, and naturally so at 7:55am.
Tonight I went to see a movie with some people. I loved the film, it was heart achingly good. One of the group said she didn’t feel the pain that the rest of us felt in the final scenes, she didn’t understand how we felt watching it. I don’t usually watch movies and see the expression on the actors face and feel that kind of connection. The final scenes of this particular movie I just sat there, thinking how I had been exactly in the same situation (not the same circumstances though), several times in my life.
I didn’t feel like crying or anything girlie like that. It just hit me in a wave of dull pain, to know exactly a feeling like that.
Go see 500 Days of Summer. Its slightly unconventional.
….and yes, today I refrained from using my digital camera. Be thankful.