{"id":58,"date":"2001-10-19T03:20:00","date_gmt":"2001-10-19T03:20:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2014-06-19T12:44:41","modified_gmt":"2014-06-19T12:44:41","slug":"insanity-batty-onlineness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/francesrosey.googlehax.com\/?p=58","title":{"rendered":"Insanity batty onlineness"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>another online joke<\/p>\n<p>(ignore if you hate this stuff)<\/p>\n<p>How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:<\/p>\n<p>1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.<\/p>\n<p>2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don&#8217;t disguise your voice.<\/p>\n<p>3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.<\/p>\n<p>4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it &#8220;in&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has Gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.<\/p>\n<p>6. In the memo field of all your checks, write &#8220;for sexual favors&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>7. Finish all your sentences with &#8220;in accordance with the prophecy.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>8. Dont use any punctuation marks<\/p>\n<p>9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.<\/p>\n<p>10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.<\/p>\n<p>11. Specify that your drive-through order is &#8220;to go&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>12. Sing along at the opera.<\/p>\n<p>13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don&#8217;t rhyme.<\/p>\n<p>14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.<\/p>\n<p>15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can&#8217;t attend their party because you&#8217;re not in the mood.<\/p>\n<p>16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.<\/p>\n<p>17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream &#8220;I won!&#8221;, &#8220;I won!&#8221; &#8220;3rd time this week!!!!!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling &#8220;run for your lives, they&#8217;re loose!!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>19. Tell your children over dinner. &#8220;due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity&#8230;&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>20. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or asked you not to send them stuff like this.<\/p>\n<p>we have fires in my building about once every three or so weeks&#8230;yes we are very silly here in welli, in fact lisa insists on calling us the little cumber&#8217;nd pyros&#8230; hehehehe&#8230; ummm yeah. *grin* oh yeah and we had an outbreak of meningitis, no one died tho&#8230;<br \/>\n<strong><span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; color: #000066; font-size: xx-small;\"><br \/>\nhere is my favourite site once again<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.pox.co.uk\/images\/pygmyshrew.swf%20\">http:\/\/www.pox.co.uk\/images\/pygmyshrew.swf<br \/>\n<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; color: #000066; font-size: xx-small;\">edit:<br \/>\nahh feckity fuck&#8230;. damn link won&#8217;t link&#8230; so well cut and paste you bastards!!<br \/>\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p class=\"excerpt\">another online joke<\/p>\n<p>(ignore if you hate this stuff)<\/p>\n<p>How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:<\/p>\n<p>1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p>2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don&#8217;t disguise your voice.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p>3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p>4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it &#8220;in&#8221;<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p>5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.<\/p>\n<p> <a href=\"https:\/\/francesrosey.googlehax.com\/?p=58\">Read more &rarr;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[19],"class_list":["post-58","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-internet-lolz","xfolkentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/francesrosey.googlehax.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/francesrosey.googlehax.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/francesrosey.googlehax.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/francesrosey.googlehax.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/francesrosey.googlehax.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=58"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/francesrosey.googlehax.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1493,"href":"https:\/\/francesrosey.googlehax.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58\/revisions\/1493"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/francesrosey.googlehax.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=58"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/francesrosey.googlehax.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=58"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/francesrosey.googlehax.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=58"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}